He makes her laugh
by conspiracy bug girl
Summary: Humerous oneshots. What my caffine filled head and keyboard want to write. BB friendship. I love you if you read and review :
1. Chapter 1

_G'day people! I'm baaaaack! This is gunna be a series of humerous oneshots, cause I get sick of updating a chapter series and oneshots are so non-commital :) meaning I can write about ANYTHING my sleep-deprived mind can come up with. Yay._

_Disclaimer: This is me disclaiming :( _

_(No, I don't own it. But if Foz wants to give me any early b'day present ... )_

_AN - This is B/B FRIENDSHIP! They won't be doing the horzontail mambo anytime in this fanfic, unless it happens on tv ... (implying what the Bones makers should do ;) ) _

* * *

"This one time, at band camp…"

"Easy, American Pie," Angela smiled smugly at the FBI agent.

"Yea, that was a dead give-away,"

"Ummm, what about … 'run Forest, run'?" she asked

Brow crinkling in mock concentration, Booth answered in a condescending tone, "Umm, I dunno … Forest Gump, maybe?"

"What the hell is Forest Gump?" Brennan looked scandalous.

"An iconic movie that almost everyone has seen," replied her best friend.

"Yer, Bones, you have to get out more," Booth laughed jovially again. "Do you know any quote's?"

She thought for a moment.

"Something about how penguins don't dance …" she said. Angela and Booth both looked at her blankly. "It was a movie about this penguin that tap danced."

"Happy Feet?" Angela said, snapping her fingers.

"Yes."

"You know, Bones, you really suck at this game,"

"I don't watch a lot of movies," she replied. With that, Booth got up and wandered away from Brennan's dining table and the mess of Chinese cartoons sprawled on it, to her TV. Squatting, he examined the titles of the miniscule amount of DVDs. Unknowingly to him; Brennan and Angela were examining his butt.

"Ok, what do we have here," he pulled out a DVD and squinted at the title. "Ooo, Journey of the Whales. Bundles of fun." Replacing the documentary, he turned to look at her.

"What?" Brennan said, off his questioning glance. "I find the migration patterns of the whales a fascinating example of undistur-"

"Yer, we get it, sweetie," Angela replied, giggling. Booth continued to pull out the DVDs.

"Titanic, Bones?"

"Birthday present,"

"Oh my god! I love that movie," Angela cried, sweeping to her feet and rushing to the FBI agent. Grabbing the DVD from his hand, she turned on the television. "It's the sweetest movie I've ever seen."

"I've never seen it, nor do I want to," said Booth and Brennan simultaneously.

"It's a good movie, I promise," while the copyright rules and previews were rolling, Angela dragged them to the couch.

_Half an hour later_

Angela was singing. Rather off key.

"My heart will go on and on …" throwing her arm around her best friends shoulders, she continued louder. "Love can touch us one time, and last for a lifetime …"

"Angela, are you in pain?" Booth asked, barely looking up from his gun, which his was polishing for the fifth time, out of complete boredom.

"Near, far, whenever, opps, I mean wherever you are…"

"Anthropologically speaking, a man and a women of such different social status would never fraternize, let alone pretend to fly on the bow of a boat," Brennan observed.

Groaning, Booth began to bang his head against the couch.

_45 minutes later_

Jack and Rose were getting hot and heavy in a carriage blow decks. Angela was clutching a box of tissues and repeatedly whispering "It's coming, it's coming. Dammit, I know its coming." Brennan was searching 'Avoidable factors that contributed to the sinking of the Titanic' on her laptop. Booth was sprawled, fast asleep, on the floor in front on the couch, after successfully completing 120 push-ups.

"Ha," Brennan laughed, jolting Booth into awareness "one of the things that contributed to the sinking of the Titanic was that the binoculars for the crow's nest had been misplaced and the lookouts had to do without them."

"Whoever lost them must be feeling very stupid and guilty now," Booth observed.

"Booth, I highly doubt the person in question would still be alive and even then-"

"Sarcasm, Bones,"

"Shut up, you two!"

Angela gasped as the iceberg ripped a massive gash in the side of the ship.

"Oh my god," she squealed.

"Its been proven that the iceberg only made a 12 foot hole …"

"Bren!"

_5 minutes before the end of the film_

Angela blew her nose, bringing Brennan out of her reverie about the 17th Mayan skeleton she was examining tomorrow and Booth out of his reverie about the mob boss he was interrogating tomorrow.

"Arghhh, that's so sad!"

"Can I go home yet?" Booth asked.

"No, you can not leave me here with this blubbering mess," Brennan said, gesturing to Angela.

"Fine," pause. Half hand raise. "Can I go to the loo?"

Brennan hesitated, and then nodded. "I suppose. But get some tissues while you're there. And a glass of water." She yelled at Booth's retreating back.

Moments later, both women heard the front door close quietly.

"Dammit, he did a runner!" Brennan looked at the still sobbing Angela. She quietly got up and followed her partner out the front door.

* * *

_Heehee when i watch Titanic I turn it off as soon as they hit the iceberg. I've only ever seen snipets of Jack dying and the sinking ect. Anyway, please please tell me what you think :). Also, I'm an Auzzie so if anything is very not-American tell me for future reference. And if Happy Feet was big in America cause I was writing this and was like, 'hmmm what if no one has a clue about why I'm refering to dancing peguins!!??' :) chaio!_


	2. Chapter 2

_WOWOWOW all you reviews are amazing! xoxo. Next chapter is up, cause you asked so nicely :)_

_AN: I watched 'American Pie' recently so thats why there's a another quotes heehee. Good movie ..._

* * *

"I can't believe this," hissed Brennan as Booth knocked on the door. "I can't believe we are actually going to do this!"

"Hey, do you think I'm enjoying it?" he replied, venom in his tone. Shifting from foot to foot, he rang the doorbell again.

"Serial killer on the lose. The "Squint Squad" finds where he's holed up," Brennan did sarcastic quote marks at Squint Squad. "But alas, the brave, amazing, wise, innovating Agent Booth …"

"Yer, I get it," he cut off. "And you should do that even less than normal people."

She looked perplexed. "What?"

"The quote mark things," Booth showed her.

"I distinctly recall you saying that I must learn to stop alienating my self from modern forms of communication," she paused. "Well, not in that many words …"

"Yer, communication as in … knowing who Stifler's mum is,"

"Who's Stifler's mom?"

"Exactly!" exasperated, Booth went to ring the doorbell again. At the moment a bleary eyed women opened the door, wearing a pink and yellow flowered bathrobe and a hairnet. She looked to be about 58 years old.

"Yes, sweetie?" she asked, peering up at the 6 foot FBI Agent, who was easily a meter taller than her.

"Umm, well," Booth stammered. "You wouldn't happen to have a gun handy?"

The lady looked shocked. "I'm sure it's not that bad, sweetie. You have heaps to live for. You're young, fit, handsome. You have a beautiful girlfriend," the women stopped at smiled politely at the flabbergasted Brennan. "Hello, sweetheart." Then her gaze returned to Booth. "I'm sure things will get better. Why don't you come in and sit down and have some cookies?"

Booth was looking at her with his mouth slightly open. _Crazy old lady. Reminds me of my mum … _but those cookies did sound good … maybe if he played along for awhile he could get some morning tea…

Brennan jabbed him in the ribs. He was brought back to reality. "No, madam, it's nothing like that. I'm Special Agent Seely Booth, with the FBI. This is my partner Dr Temperance Brennan."

"The author?" the lady placed her hand to her heart. "Oh my, this is wonderful. I'm a huge fan. When my husband is off playing golf I love to curl up with a hot cup of tea and read Born Free. The sequels my favori-" the lady paused then looked from Brennan to Booth and back to Brennan. "Wait, you must be – oh my gosh. The sequel was dedicated to you. You must be so proud of Dr Brennan here. And you make a lovely couple."

Blushing, Temperance said, "no we're not … like that."

This was getting out of hand.

"Look, Mrs …"

"Petterson."

"Mrs Petterson, we're on official FBI business. It'd be much obliged if you could lend us a gun … If you have one … of course," Booth felt terrible for harassing this poor old women.

"Ohhh, FBI business," Mrs Petterson looked at him. "Don't FBI Agents usually carry their own gun, not borrow them from old ladies?"

"Well someone," Temperance looked pointedly at Booth, who blushed again. "Left their gun in the car. Then discovered they had locked their keys in the car. And since he didn't want to break the window and RACQ is an hour away and our serial killer could be gone by then, the person in question then decided to would be appropriate to come and bang on random peoples front doors and say "Hi, could I borrow a gun?"" Brennan stopped for a breath. "And do you possibly have two guns, since he won't give me one?"

_18 minutes earlier_

Booth reached to pull his gun out of its holster.

"Dammit," he whispered. Brennan turned from where they were positioned to break the serial killers door down.

"What?"

"I left my gun in the car,"

"What?"

"It must have fell out," Booth sighed and began to jog down the driveway. Brennan followed. When they got to the car, Booth reached into his pocket and felt for the keys.

"Dammit,"

"Don't tell me," Brennan sighed, "you lost the keys."

"No, I know exactly where they are," he pointed through the window to the ignition, where they hung.

"Dammit," Brennan said. Then reiterated. "Dammit, dammit."

"Now what?" Booth asked. Sighing.

"Break the window,"

"I'm not breaking the window of my own car!"

"So you'd break the window of someone else's car?"

"Bones!"

_Present_

At the end of Brennan's explanation there was a moment's silence.

"Hmm," the lady thought for a moment. "Ok." She turned and walked into the house, leaving our heroes standing on the porch. After a half a minute, which Booth and Brennan spent silently debating with each other whether to follow with glares and gestures, Mrs Petterson returned. She carried two .357 revolvers.

"There you go, sweetie," she handed them to the astounded Anthropologist and Agent and smiled pleasantly, "Now run off and catch the baddies. And make sure you pop over for a coffee one day."

They thanked her and turned to go.

Then she called out, "Dr Brennan, make sure you call me as soon as your new book is being published. And you must come over and sign it."

"Sure will, Mrs Peterson."

They started walking down the driveway again.

"And, Agent Booth?" she smiled at him, "keep your chin up, sweetie. You have a life worth living."

Booth laughed and shook his head. _Crazy, eccentric women. And so much like my mother!! Freaky…_ "I'll try to remember that." :)

* * *

_I imagine Booth's mum would be eccentric (like my granma). Anyway, what didcha think? Personally, I'm proud I didn't mention the loo! Yay! BTW incase you didn't catch on, Mrs Petterson thought Booth wanted the gun to commit suicide :) communitcation break-down lol. Later folks!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Oh my god, thanks for all the AMAZING reviews:) This chapter may seem a bit OC but it will make sense at the end (i hope) and if it doesn't ... well Bones needs a wild side :)_

* * *

A crumpled up piece of paper flew threw her window and hit Brennan squarely in the left eye. 

"What the hell?" she said out loud, picking up the unceremoniously folded sheet of paper and spreading it out.

_Bones,_

_I've broken out._

_Meet me at the tree under your window._

_Booth_

Smiling, and tucking her hand nervously behind her ear, Brennan crossed to her window and looked down to see Seeley Booth leaning against the tree trunk.

"Hey good-looking," she yelled, in a very un-bones like way. "You throwing love notes at me?"

Booth turned to look at her, grinning, "I might be."

"Where did you break out off?"

"An extremely dull meeting about the politically correct terms for apprehending a criminal," he replied, laughing. "I mean, duh. It's pretty simply. Utter some threats, throw on a pair of cuffs … "

"Politically correct were the key words in that sentence, Booth."

Booth laughed. "So what are you up too? Care to join me?"

She wouldn't mind that at all. She had been on a high all day. She had been up, down, pacing, drumming. It was a quiet time at the Jeffersonian. No crazed serial killers had left any presents for the FBI and no museums needed identification for two thousand year old skeletons. Angela was wandering the gardens with her note pad and Zach and Hodgins had started 'The First Ever Official Jeffersonian Bug Racing Competition.' Brennan had attempted to get another chapter or so of her new book written but had received a large dose of writers block. Booth's proposal seemed like a highly welcomed distraction.

"One moment," grabbing her coat, Brennan ran back to the window and started taking off her heels. Throwing the shoes to a bewildered Booth, she put one leg out the window, careful to not give any lurking males a view of her underwear, and placed it securely on the tree branch.

"What the hell are you doing, Bones?" asked an amused Booth.

"Breaking out," she carefully climbed the rest of the way out of the window and started sidling across the branch.

"Just don't fall," said Booth. "I don't want to have to take Zach instead of my forensic Anthropologist."

"It's a two story building. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I've known some very un-co people. I swear they could find something to trip over in a flat, empty land mass."

When Brennan had reached the bottom branch Booth reached out and took her hand, helping her into the grass.

"So what was that about?" Booth asked.

"What?"

"You. Yelling out the window. Climbing out the window," he paused. "Are you on medication?"

"No, but Angela did give me something to drink," Brennan jabbered on.

"Oh,"

"I think it was called Red Bull,"

"So that's why you thought you could fly?"

"What?"

"Out the window," Booth smirked. "They say that 'Red bull gives you wings!'"

* * *

_:) I saw the ad on TV today and this was beggin to be written. Course, it may seem a bit OC for your liking but oh well lol. Next chapter is more like their usual selves. Seeya's!! _

_Slunks back I forgot to ask. Can someone tell me what a betta does exactly:) thanks!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Heya folks, this chapter has Parker in it YAY! He's so cute ... walks up to mother "Mum, can I have a Parker?" btw this chapter probaly isn't as good as the previous ones, if I do say so myself ... so review and tell me how to improve! Anyway:_

* * *

"Your not even on the motorbike, dopey," Parker said, without turning away from the PS3 console. "You have to press triangle to get on." 

"Parker, bub, why don't you do it for Bones?" Booth was looking at the struggling forensic Anthropologist. Brennan was pushing the triangle button with ferocity.

"But daddy, I'll lose if I stop," Booth could picture the puppy dog look on his son's face, even though he couldn't see it. He sighed.

"Fine," Booth tugged the controller away from Brennan. He manipulated a few buttons and, on screen, the little cartoon figure got on the motorcycle. "There,"

"Thanks," Brennan grabbed the controller back and held down the X button. Within a matter of seconds she'd fallen of again. "I give up!" she said in frustration.

Booth knelt down to his son's level. "Hey little bubby, why don't you put it on one player?"

Parker pouted.

"Or you can just leave Bones' player sprawled on the ground and continue your race."

"Ok, thanks daddy. You're the best."

Booth grinned at his son. Then tugged Bones into the kitchen.

"See, that what I'm talking about!" he said, smile leaving his face.

"What?"

"He's evil. I swear. He looks at me with that cute little smile and I can't say no to him," Booth sighed and lent on the counter. "Am I a bad father?"

Immediately Brennan began to laugh. And laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"You!" Brennan looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "That little boy adores you."

"You think?"

"I'm certain," Brennan watched as Booth's face cracked into a smile. "As for Parker having an evil, evil smile that makes you want to do anything for him … well, lets say now you know how I feel."

"Huh?"

"It's like a mirror image of what you do to me whenever I say no,"

"DR BONES!" came Parker's voice, "I JUST RAN OVER YOU!! OOO NOW EVER ON ELSE IS RUNNING OVER YOU!! I WONDER WHAT THE LITTLE MAN INSIDE THE TV WHO PLAYS YOU IS THINKING?"

Brennan looked at Booth, stunned.

"Parker thinks that there are little people who live inside the television set."

"Oh,"

"Yer," Booth smiled. "He thinks that whenever you turn on the TV they come out and start to play. That what the shows are. And when you turn it off they go back to sleep."

"But … that's physically impossible,"

"Tell me about it,"

"Well, everyone knows that a TV is too small to house little peop-,"

"No, not tell me about it literally. It's a saying."

"Oh,"

At that moment, Parker came into the kitchen, blonde curls flying everywhere. "Dr Bones, Dr Bones, Dr Bones. I won!"

Crouching, Brennan shook the little boys hand, "Well done, Parker. You did great." She frowned. "How did I do?"

"I think your dead."

"Oh,"

"I'm going to go ask the little man."

A pattering of little feet than, "Hey you! Little man who played Dr Bones! Are you dead?"

"See what I mean," Booth said, turning to the laughing Brennan. Within seconds they were both in hysterics.

"That," gasp, "Is," gasp, "The funniest," gasp, "Thing he's," gasp, "Ever done." Gasp said Brennan.

"Actually …" Booth started. But then there was a small "thud" noise. In a spilt second Booth was in the living room. Parker was standing behind the TV, screwdriver in hand, with the back of the TV lying on the ground. He appeared to be distraught.

"Bub, what are you doing?" Booth said, grabbing Parker around the waist and picking him up over the TV.

"The little man didn't reply so I thought I mustena been able to hear him." Parker looked up at his dad. "I'm sorry, daddy."

"It's ok, we can put it back together."

"But, but, but, where are the little people? I couldn't see them." Brennan was watching this exchange with a smile.

"Umm, they had to run off and hide when you opened the back."

"Really, Dr Bones?" Parker looked amazed. So did Booth.

"Yep, Parker, cause they don't like the lights. There too bright,"

"What if we turned off all the lights? Could we see them then?" Brennan looked at Booth for help.

"Well …" There was a knock on the door, "Come in!" Booth shouted.

A moment later, Rebecca walked into the room, taking in the missing back on the TV, to the cubby house built over near the back wall, to her son, cuddled up in Booth's arms on the couch. "What's going on?" she asked hesitantly.

"Mummy," Parker said, "Dr Bones was telling me how the people in the TV run away when there is light."

"Really?" Rebecca smiled at Brennan. "That's … wonderful."

Booth picked up Parker and walked over to his ex. "He's eaten and bathed and his uniform from Friday is washed."

Rebecca smiled. "Thanks Seely. I knew this one-weekend-each deal was a good idea."

"See ya later, bub," Booth said to his son.

"Bye, Daddy," Parker ran over to Brennan and gave her a tight hug around her knees. "Bye, Dr Bones."

Booth pulled the stunned Brennan close to him as he watched Parker walk down the driveway. "Thanks, Bones?"

"For what?"

"For not destroying his hopes about the TV men."

"No problem."

At that point Parker's happy voice floated back to them, "and when we get home we have to turn off all the lights and pull apart the TV and talk to the little TV people! That's what Dr Bones said!"

* * *

_A/N I should probaly inform you that all these stories are manipulations of my real life. Yes, I did use to believe their was people in the TV. But the chapter with the Brennan and Booth asked for the gun was changed alot cause my version involved a kangaroo! And that's not very American :) Toodles!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Because everyone loves Parker:_

* * *

"Eggs, bread, cheese …" Parker was taking the groceries out of the cart and placing them on the counter, "Daddy?"

"Yes, bub,"

"Why do we have a tree in our cart?"

"That, Parker, is broccoli,"

"Yuck," the boy dropped it on the counter as if he would contract a disease from just touching it. He paused for a moment then tugged on his dad's shirt. "Daddy, do we have to take the broccoli home?"

"Yes, we do,"

"Why? It tastes really bad."

"Yer, I agree, but it's also really good for you,"

Parker shuddered and Booth laughed. Then Booth continued to take the groceries out of the cart.

"Dad!"

Booth jumped and spun.

"What? What is it?"

"It's my job to take them out!"

"Oh," Booth relaxed. Parker put his little hands on his hips and glared at his father. Booth grinned at the striking similarity between his son and his son's mother. Then he watched as Parker took a painstakingly long time to place the groceries on the counter. It was a slow process but Booth was content. He adored anything his son did.

"Tissues, soap…" Parker stopped again. "Daddy? What are these?"

Booth blushed.

"Arrr … ummm … those are … well…" he ran a hand through his hair. "Didn't think we'd be having a conversation like this when you were so young, " he said, stalling. Then he decided to tell the truth, "Bub, those are condoms."

"Oh, ok," Parker thought for a moment, "Daddy? What are condoms used for?"

Booth looked around the supermarket for a moment, praying no one had heard his son's question. Behind him, an old women smirked.

"Well, Parker … how about you ask your mother when you get home?"

"Ok," said the boy cheerfully. Booth sighed and anticipated the call he'd receive from Rebecca when she wanted to know why Parker was asking about condoms.

"Tomatoes, milk, chippies, shampoo," Parker started giggling hysterically. He was still amused by the 'poo' part of 'shampoo.'

Booth sighed. Why did Parker have to pick the register with the customer that could find a problem with anything? It was as though fate had a problem with him getting anywhere on time.

"DR BONES!"

Booth looked up to see his son grasped Brennan tightly around the legs.

"Omphh!"

Brennan looked shocked.

"Hey, Bones, what are you doing here?"

"The groceries, Booth. It's a grocery store,"

"Right,"

"Dr Bones, Dr Bones, Dr Bones, Dr Bones?" Parker was tugging on the edge of Brennan's skirt. Discreetly, she tried to hold the hem to stop the young boy pulling it down and relieving her knickers.

"Yes, Parker?"

"Can I please, please, please, please, please put your stuff on the counter?"

"Urr, I guess," she looked at Booth in question.

"Bananas, carrots, milk …"

Brennan leaned over to Booth and whispered in his ear.

"Why is he saying the names of everything?"

Booth whispered back:

"I don't know. I just nod and smile,"

To his dismay Brennan did just that.

"Not so obviously."

She stopped.

"Dr Bones, look!"

"What is it, Parker?"

"I know what these are!"

Brennan blushed.

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yep," Parker nodded. "They're condoms. My daddy has some too."

"Oh, that's nice."

Booth was staring at the floor like it was the more interesting than his son telling his partner he was buying condoms. But, then again, she was buying them too …

"But daddy, wouldn't tell me what they were for,"

"Oh, that's nice."

Parker placed his hands on his hips again.

"Dr Bones, you can't just say 'Oh, that's nice,'" whined Parker.

Brennan looked stunned.

"Parker, bub, why don't you …" Booth started.

"Dr Bones, what are condoms?"

Brennan looked even more stunned. After a moment hesitation she kneeled down to Parker's level.

"Well, Parker, condoms are … protection, for boys."

Parker looked thought for.

"Protection from what?"

Brennan could swear she heard Booth laughing behind her.

"Protection from … girls."

Now she could defiantly hear laughter,

"You mean like girl germs?"

"Kind of, Parker," the boy thought about that for a moment.

"Dr Bones?"

"Yer? Do girls need condoms? For boy germs?"

"No,"

"Then why do you have them?"

Brennan felt her face go red again. This kid could sure ask some awkward questions! She turned to look at Booth. He shrugged.

"What?"

"He's your son. You take over."

Booth knelt down to Parker's level.

"Parker, Bones is buying condoms for her … cousin," Booth improvised. Parker opened his mouth again but his father cut in. "And, no, you don't need any. And, no, I don't need them because of Dr Bones. And, no, they don't always work. That's how your mother and I got you." He smiled.

Brennan and Parker looked at him for a moment. Booth's son's brow was furrowed in concentration. Then, he looked up at his father.

"Ok, Daddy," The young boy went back to putting the groceries on the counter, as he couldn't think of anymore awkward questions.

Brennan looked at Booth

"Wow."

"This is akward…"

"So, what are you really buying them for, Bones?" Booth grinned. "Big night planned?"

* * *

_In honour of selling my first box of condoms today :) Caio everybody!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Ok, so I posted this story ages ago as a oneshot and thought wtf I'll put it here too :)_

* * *

"Paper, scissors, rock."

"What?"

"We can solve this using paper, scissors, rock."

"How can we use a paper, scissors and a rock to figure out this dilemma?" Booth looked at Brennan and gasped.

"Please tell me that was a joke," he was aghast. "Everyone knows paper, scissors, rock."

"Not everyone, evidently."

"Ok, every normal person," corrected Booth, rolling his eyes. "You got any better ideas?"

"What if we write a complex mathematical algorithm and the first of the two of us to figure the answer gets it?" Brennan could see the logic of her proposal.

"Can I have a calculator?" Booth tried his charm smile.

"No!"

"Not fair," he whined, "that won't work."

They thought for a moment.

"I could shoot you," Booth pondered.

"Hahaha,"

"Bones, was that a sarcastic laugh?" Booth looked astounded.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it was," Brennan's turn to roll her eyes. "Why does everyone seemed surprised when I use sarcasm?"

"Cause its just not ... normal or politically correct or something."

"And that was very grammatically incorrect. STOP MOVING!!!" she yelled.

"What?" Innocence.

"You were inching towards it. I know you were," Brennan wasn't going to let him win that easily.

"I wasn't," his eyes were wide. She didn't believe him for a moment. "You have no faith in me."

"No, I don't"

"Ouch," Booth changed the subject. "How about a race?"

"Ohh?" She was intrigued.

"Yeah, a running race. First one there wins." She snorted and he raised an eyebrow.

"You sound like a 3 year old. A running race," she laughed again.

"Focus, Bones," again, he skirted the topic. Cause it made him sound like a dork. And bruised his ego.

"Fine, I will race you," she accepted.

"Ok," Booth placed a hand on the couch. Brennan copied him. "On three. One. Two…"

"Wait," Brennan studied his face, worried," are you feeling ok?"

"Huh?"

"You don't look too good," she placed a hand on his lower back. Under his shirt. Now that was even more weird. "Do you want to sit down?"

"Hahaha, no," the eye roll again. Booth felt slightly uncomfortable from her touch. "How gullible do you think I am?"

"Ok, but don't blame me if you hurt yourself." Shaking his head, he started to count again.

"One,"

Brennan coughed loudly.

"Two,"

They were ready.

"Thr…," he heard the click and felt the cuff close around his wrist, "ee …"

Brennan took off, laughing at her partner.

"I hate you, Bones," he growled, trying to pull his hand free.

"I love you too," she laughed and began half walking, half running towards the kitchen counter. He could only watch helplessly as she picked up the plate of mud cake and took a bite.

"Mmmm, so good," she taunted. Booth groaned.

"I can't believe you cuffed me to my own chair, with my own cuffs just so you could eat the last piece of my own cake that came from my own fridge."

"It worked didn't it?"

"Give me that cake," he stamped his foot petulantly, "please?" she wandered out of the room, taking it with her. "Bones, get your ass back here now!"

* * *

_:D Reviews make me happy._


	7. Chapter 7

This onbe is a little different to my usual chappies of this story ... each line is one end of a phonecall from Booth to Bones. Enjoy!

* * *

The phone was ringing ... 

"Booth?"

"Bones..."

"Not that I'm not glad to hear from you but ... what the hell are you calling me for? It's my day off!"

"Yer...about that ..."

"No, I am not coming in the ID a body today."

"But..."

"I know. I love my job. Usually I would be there at the falling of the hat but I really need today off."

"It's drop of the hat, Bones. And I know you need today off but ..."

"My apartment is a mess. I really need to tidy up, label some boxes, alphabetize my CDs, oil some squeaky hinges."

"Sounds like lots of fun but I was wondering if ..."

"Wait, isn't it your day off too? Weren't you telling me that Parker was coming over?"

"He is over. Or he is here with me at ..."

"You know, Booth, you really need to learn to get to the point on the phone. I still have no idea why you called."

"That because you keep butting in. I can't get on sentence finished because ..."

"Oh, that's right. Blame it on me."

"I'm not trying to blame ..."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. I was just asking if ..."

"I'm going to hang up the phone now. When you call back, I expect an apology."

"Bones! Wait!"

"What?"

"I need a favour. Could you ..."

"This had better be good, Booth."

"It is. I was wondering if you could come and pick Parker and I up from the hospital. I ..."

"THE HOSPITAL!"

"Yes. You see ..."

"Did you get captured and tortured again? You seem to have a habit of doing that, don't you?"

"No, Bones, nothing like that..."

"Well, what happened?"

"You know how Parker was over, right ..."

"Of course. It was all you talked about yesterday."

"Yes, well, he was getting ready for a big day at the park when he accidently ..."

"Oh, what did he do? Something bad or daft? That child's exactly like you, I swear."

"Well, yeah, Bones. He's my kid. What did you expect? Anyway ..."

"Technically, he's only half your kid. Only half of his chromosomes are from you."

"Thank you, Bones, for that interesting science lesson. Not that I really need it. What I need is ..."

"Are you ever going to tell me how you ended up in the hospital?"

"I was! You started going on about chromosomes and I ..."

"Yeah, okay, I get it. Continue your story, please."

"So Parker was in his room and he accidently locked the door and couldn't get out. He's only four so he couldn't understand that the locks on my doors and different to the locks on the doors at his mother's house. So..."

"Does this have anything to do with how you ended up in the hospital?"

"YES! So I was trying to explain how to unlock the door when Parker started to get a little frightened by the fact that he was gunna be locked in his room for the rest of his life. So I started to work the lock, like I taught you – with a credit card, right. And then ..."

"Wait, I thought you said the "black ops" stuff you taught me was for use only when I really needed it because the American government would rather it didn't get out that their Rangers were taught how to break into places and such. Maybe there is something to Hodgins' conspiracy theories."

"Bones! I had to get my son out of there. He was getting scared and ..."

"Scared from what? His Spiderman bedspread?"

"Haha, Bones. So I was in the process of picking the lock when Parker finally remembered that 'you had to turn the little metal thing to unlock the door'..."

"The 'little metal thing?"

"His words, not mine. Anyway, he swings open the door and knocks me unconscious..."

"Wow. He must have pushed it open very hard."

"Maybe he was trying to punish it for locking him in ..."

"Of course. Because that's how you pay back a door."

"So when I'm knocked unconscious by my door, Parker does what any four-year-old boy does. Calls the ambulance..."

"How embarrassing."

"Thanks, Bones. I woke up here ten minutes go, with no car, no money for a cab, a distraught son and a large bruise on my forehead. I could barely convince the nurse to lend me a dollar for the pay phone..."

"And you want me to come pick you up, right?"

"Yes, please."

"Fine. Be there in ten minutes."

"Wow, Bones. You just let me finish a full sentence. I said 'yes, please' and you didn't..."

He was listening to a dial tone

* * *

So, whatcha think? I'm gunna post it as a oneshot too cause it's kina unique:D 


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